Zhou Wei and I were a pair of sworn enemies, constantly trading nasty words and throwing punches, finally declaring, "Whoever doesn’t get a divorce is a dog." On the road to divorce, we used the vilest curses to damn each other. But just as the tanker truck came barreling towards us, he jerked the steering wheel and took the hit on his side. For that split second, he saved me.
When I opened my eyes again, I was back to the summer right after sophomore year. Zhou Wei was holding a bouquet and asked if I wanted to try. The next second, his face went pale and sour. Our eyes met, and I knew he was back too.
I found a stack of portraits of Xu Ni in Zhou Wei’s secret locker in class B of Minghua High. My heart shattered into pieces. I knew for sure he was a total creep. Without thinking, I charged at him, slapped him hard across the face twice, scratching him up. At first, he just dodged. Then he got angry and shoved me away.
"What’s wrong with you? Are you crazy?" I grabbed the drawings and threw them at his face.
"I’m crazy? You’re sick. Sneaking around drawing pictures of your aunt? How gross." Looking at the drawings scattered on the floor, Zhou Wei’s eyes reddened.
"Xu Si, you’re the most despicable and vicious person I’ve ever seen."
"You’re just jealous of Xu Ni. You have ill intentions, but you can never compare to her, not one bit."
"Why was she the one who went crazy back then? Why not you?"
I’d heard that line too many times. Every time, it drove me insane. I grabbed a chair and lunged at him.
"Screw your madness."
That day, our fight landed us in the police station.
The cop kindly asked if I was a domestic violence victim. I sneered.
"Who do you take me for? That’s called mutual fighting. Mutual fighting, get it?"
I was a mess hair everywhere, bruises on my face, but Zhou Wei was bleeding from a head wound. I won that round hands down. After we left the station, we just pointed fingers at each other. This marriage had to end. Whoever doesn’t divorce is a dog.
Who would have thought we’d end up fighting on the road to divorce? One second before the tanker truck hit, I was still calling him a peeping weirdo freak. Zhou Wei was scowling, teeth clenched.
"I only liked Xu Ni, from start to finish. It’s always been Xu Ni. If you weren’t a spitting image of her, do you think I’d still be with you? Xu Si, for once, take a look at yourself. How are you even comparable to Xu Ni?"
My biggest pet peeve was always being compared to Xu Ni. Even though she lost her mind, I had to live in her shadow. My hand reached for his hair, ready for a fight. Suddenly, a screeching sound, the tanker truck lost control and came right at us. My mind went blank. Zhou Wei's face turned pale as he slammed the wheel, taking the hit on his side. I stared at him, dazed. At this man who tangled with me for ten years. We could never get along.
Why not split up? People asked both of us too. I stayed silent. He smoked quietly. No one could say why; no one could explain. Just like that year, he held a droopy bouquet with a tired look, asking if I wanted to try. So strange. Just days before, he rejected my confession, saying he wanted to focus on studies, not love. How did he suddenly change his mind? Much later, I found out he’d actually confessed to Xu Ni and got rejected. Heartbroken, he saw me, my face so much like Xu Ni’s. Instinctively, he came to me. Using me as a stand-in, chasing memories of Xu Ni through me.
Ten years. He deserved to go crazy. Who needed him risking his life for me? All past grudge and bitterness turned to smoke. Just hope in the next life when I open my eyes.
But I opened them and saw seventeen-year-old Zhou Wei. How do I know it’s seventeen? Because he was holding a sad little bouquet of blue delphiniums. I didn’t like delphiniums. I liked roses, red, passionate, romantic, and bold. Zhou Wei looked at me with disdain, calling me tacky. He asked if I knew the meaning of delphiniums.
"Don’t you think they look like little birds flying lightly in the breeze? They mean freedom free, unrestrained. Isn’t that beautiful?"
I didn’t buy it. I only knew roses meant love. Lovers should always give roses. But until that tanker crash, I never received a single bouquet. Reborn right then great, even worse luck. And the worst part? Zhou Wei looked up. Our eyes locked, familiar expressions flashing. I knew without a doubt he was back too.
That summer was especially hot. Senior year was just around the corner. Some people ran around cramming at tutoring centers, some had one on one sessions. Only I slacked off all day, leaving before dawn and only grudgingly returning at dinnertime. Today was no exception. I kicked pebbles along the way, my bad mood radiating five meters around me. The moment I saw Zhou Wei, I got nervous. I liked him first crush, bittersweet and beautiful. But he rejected my confession. With that distant smile, he said he wanted to focus on studies, no relationships now. I was embarrassed, angry, and sad, nearly crying as I ran off, vowing never to like him again. But when he slowly walked toward me, my heart thudded uncontrollably, and I froze.
He said, "Want to try?"
Without hesitation, I nodded repeatedly. That humiliating, desperate romantic move would haunt me forever. If I could do it again, I’d just flip him off with zero respect or dignity. Zhou Wei grinned, stuffed the flowers in the trash, and turned away. Ten minutes later, outside my house, we met again. Shen Fang glared suspiciously, blocking the door.
"Who are you looking for?"
Zhou Wei looked awkward, even a bit nervous.
"I’m looking for Xu Ni. Can I see her? I have something to say."
"Xu Ni? Who are you?"
Shen Fang’s suspicion turned into hostility, eyes wide. Zhou Wei looked rattled and hesitated to speak. I rolled my eyes impatiently.
"I told you I don’t like you. Why are you still coming to my house? You think Xu Ni will help you? Don’t you know she’s the one I hate most? Come on."
Ignoring Shen Fang’s doubtful gaze, I dragged Zhou Wei downstairs.
Zhou Wei scowled and shook me off. "I knew you came back too. Forget the past grudges. If you think I wronged you, I apologize. But Xu Si, you have to understand, us being sent back is a chance from the heavens. I will protect Xu Ni no matter what. No one will take her from me not even herself. I don’t expect your help, just don’t sabotage me, or I won’t let you off."
I gave him a blank look, listening to his passionate words and threats. When he finished, under his furious gaze, I snorted coldly.
"You’re nothing. Idiot."
Everyone adored Xu Ni. She was outstanding, kind, and beautiful. At school, she was top of the year, a star aiming for the national top university. She joined competitions, sang, danced, and mastered arts. Never once did her excellence make her arrogant. Always gentle, always smiling at teachers and classmates. At home, the pride of her parents and family, their shining star. She never rebelled, always obeyed elders, meeting any high expectations with a nod.
But that very year she topped the college entrance exam, the year her parents held a grand banquet to celebrate, soaking in admiration and envy, she climbed to the rooftop and ended her life. No one knew why. Including me. Only later, with age and rewinding memories, I saw cracks beneath the perfection.
After parting with Zhou Wei, I walked home slowly. Just opening the door, I saw Shen Fang holding a glass of milk for Xu Ni. Her gaze soft, gently stroking Xu Ni’s hair.
"Later mom will take you to Teacher Bai’s. She said you’re improving fast, but don’t get cocky keep working hard. By the way, that boy, do you really not know him? Give your phone; I want to check. Ni Ni, now’s an important time. Don’t end up like Xu Si, hanging with those boys. Xu Si’s done for. You’re all I have left. You must make us proud. Drink your milk while it’s warm."
Shen Fang knew I was there but didn’t care, even gave me an eye roll. I thought silently, having earned the title of worthless daughter, I couldn’t waste that reputation. So I stepped forward, snatched the glass from Xu Ni’s hand, and smashed it on the floor.
"What do you want, Xu Si?" Shen Fang yelled.
I raised an eyebrow.
"If I can’t have this milk, neither can Xu Ni."
Did I ever drink milk as a kid? Don’t remember. Since I could remember, the good stuff at home was never for me. Fine meals, nutritious dishes whenever I reached out, Shen Fang slapped my hand away.
"Don’t eat that. It’s for Ni Ni. You? Waste of food. Better to feed the dog. Dogs guard the house; what can you even do?"
At first, I cried and begged. All it got me was a beating.
Shen Fang never held back. She raised her hand high and slapped me, making my face and head go numb.
"Are you rebelling against heaven? Want milk? Look at your grades. Trying to compete with Ni Ni? Please. Get out of this house, we don’t want you."
She picked up a stick, ready to hit me again. This time, I didn’t stand for it. I bolted, knocking over tables, chairs, and flower vases. Everything got messier. Shen Fang screamed, chasing after me. But no matter the chaos, Xu Ni sat quietly, watching, neither helping nor stopping, picking up a book as if it wasn’t her problem. Finally, I snatched her phone. She looked at me then, cold and confused, stiffening. She watched me rush into her room and slam the door. I wanted to lock it, but the lock was broken. So I leaned my back against the door. Outside, Shen Fang kicked at the door and shouted. My face twisted into a wicked smile. I pulled out my phone, dialing with a yell.
"Hello, police? My mom is about to kill me. Please come quickly, save me.
Shen Fang was taken away. After she kept resisting, scratched a policeman’s neck, and threatened to harm me, the officers informed us she would be held for 24 hours of detention.
The police looked at me with pity, softly asking if I wanted them to contact other relatives. They warned me that their help was limited. If I insisted on Shen Fang’s detention, things would only get harder for me once she was released.
I nodded and thanked them, but I still insisted she needed to be detained.
"Well at least I can finally get a good night’s sleep."
The officer’s eyes softened as he glanced at Xu Ni.
"Is that your sister? Is she all right?"
Compared to my messy state, Xu Ni’s expressionless and closed off demeanor seemed even more worrisome.
I forced a bitter smile, tapped my temple in a way Xu Ni could see, and muttered, "She’s a bit slow in the head, kind of dumb."
Xu Ni stiffened, biting her lip.
Out of humanity’s sake, the policeman contacted our father the man who had been working away from home most of our lives, only returning on holidays or when Xu Ni achieved something great.
He apologized to the officers and promised he would come home as soon as possible and control Shen Fang’s behavior. But I knew he wouldn’t be back for days.
After the cops left, I yawned. Xu Ni watched me oddly.
I stretched and walked into Xu Ni’s bedroom, plopping myself onto her bed.
About five minutes later, footsteps approached. Xu Ni stood at the bedside, her face unreadable.
"This is my room."
"Oh."
"Please leave."
"What if I don’t?"
"This is my room."
Was she only going to keep repeating this? Aren’t these the same phrases from every essay she ever wrote, the ones everyone praised?
"Wait, do you really love this bed that much?" I teased.
Xu Ni stayed silent, her lips pursed tighter than ever.
"Since you don’t like it, just lend it to me for one night. This soft bed and blanket first time I ever slept on something this comfy."
"Fine, but don’t expect me to see you off. And make sure to close the door behind you."
I closed my eyes and ignored her. I don’t know how long passed before she finally left and she actually closed the door behind me.
Not gently.
Chapter 01
*
Comments
Post a Comment